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Pawel Brodzinski on Software Project Management

When Something Really Piss You Off

You know the situation for sure. Someone comes to scold you unfairly. There comes an email which makes you boiling. A phone discussion with a colleague brings nothing but growing irritation. A person in fellow team not only doesn’t help you but is also counterproductive. You become really angry. And then you go off. You put all your anger into your answer. Email, call or tirade. The form doesn’t really matter here.

And that’s the worst thing you can do.

Calm down. Anger doesn’t lead you to anything good. With email it’s easier since you can use the old trick – write it, read it, delete it write it once again. Repeat if needed. A couple of minutes you need to write the email should give you enough time to calm down. With a call or a face to face discussion it’s harder since there’s no rollback option after words have been said.

Note, I don’t advise you to wait for a whole day. Usually several minutes should be enough. Personally I don’t like to leave things which really piss me off to another day. I usually try to react fast enough to remember why exactly I was so touched.

Why? Because when a situation irritates you enough you’re about to erupt it has to be important enough to do something about that. If you wait too long it’s surprisingly easy to forget the problem which isn’t any good since that way things won’t change and the situation will happen again. And it will probably hit you harder since problems tend to grow over time.

To summarize my advice is: when something really pisses you off wait just long enough to calm down and then react, possibly with no emotions.

in: personal development

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